A walking contradiction

When I was growing up, I was the only person in my extended family that didn’t like meat. Now that I teach yoga, I DO eat meat, while surrounded by vegans and raw foodists. (I probably could have saved myself a lot of grief by reversing the order of my food choices.)

While young, I didn’t know I had to label myself a vegetarian. I just didn’t like meat. I had never heard of Gandhi, so couldn’t have claimed that I was following in his footsteps. I just didn’t want to eat meat. I had no idea that it was soon to become a political statement. I just kept not putting meat on my plate. Well, except for bacon . . .

Then, one day, and I have no idea when this happened, I learned I was a vegetarian. I learned I was not a vegan, because I ate ice cream, but that I was definitely a vegetarian. I embraced the label. It was a relief, probably, to learn I belonged somewhere, since growing up I had felt so different from my meat eating family and community. Now I had a group I could align myself with. Except I still ate bacon . . .

Fast forward to El Salvador, at a Yoga retreat with Walt Baptiste, where I fully expected to be greeted as a fellow vegetarian. I mean, all yogis are vegetarian, right? Walt took one look at me and told me to eat some meat to get healthy, and stop using my food choices as my identity. Hmmm. I explained to him that I don’t like meat, but if he had bacon around I would gladly partake, as long as it was burnt. . . .

Well, I’m not sure when I started eating meat, but I did drop the label; It was such an obvious thing to do. I mean, hell, when was I going to be honest with myself and admit that bacon falls into the meat group?

I do know that when I got pregnant I inhaled meat. I craved tuna during my first pregnancy, meat sauce on pasta during my second pregnancy, and sausage from Trader Joe’s during my third pregnancy. I don’t really like meat and don’t eat it much, but when my body wants it, I find the best quality meat and partake of it with gratitude. Here’s the worst part however; I am still an outcast in my new “family” of yogis. Well, maybe not an outcast; let’s just say there are those who think I need to be converted to veganism or raw foodism. I am still a “project.”

For the record, I can’t be converted, I won’t be labeled, and I feel no need to be defined by my food choices. I won’t choose sides or feel guilty. I won’t declare superiority or feel inferiority. I just want to flow, and be allowed to flow, and allow others to flow in whatever direction feels right to them.

I may choose to eat meat one day, then eat rice and beans the next day. I may choose a turkey sandwich on Monday, and a hummus wrap on Tuesday. I may order a hamburger with bacon tomorrow, or may choose to eat a raw salad. I don’t know; I am just going to wait and see what my body needs.

This isn’t a confession, nor is it a defense. This is my attempt to use this small example as a larger metaphor. How many times do we “label” ourselves only to find that now we have to live within the confines of that overly simplistic label? Or, constantly contradict it? 

How often do we define ourselves only to find that there really is no definition that can fully describe us? When will we accept that NOT ONE OF US is here to fit into the confines of any one generalization! We actually aren’t on Earth to fit into a box.

 

Comments

[Abbey]

Gosh I love this! So true!

[Corrie Borrie Alice]

Well...damnit. I'm a 'girl' with boobs and stuff. I thought that was all there was to me... I gotta expand outside the confines and structure of language and figure out a deeper truth beyond the classification of ego and linear thought? ...fine.

[Kathleen Langston]

Thank you for expressing what I have always felt, but was too scared to admit vocally: what is "best" for me changes from day to day and it is my joy and opportunity to honor it. Thank you.

[Chandrananda]

What is that quote from Ghandi, "I am not about consistency; I am about truth." As a fellow meat-eating yogini/instructor...I say it's about balance and listening to our inner wisdom...once again, the wisdom is getting lost in the dogma...eat meat, don't eat meat...judge lest thou be judged...I can crave a steak yet dehydrate some kale chips and STILL be on the path...shining the light into the dark cracks of my soul and embracing them...yoga is not all about the asanas, or the diets...it's taking that awareness into our walking lives...namaste (and rock on) ;)

[Dana Baptiste]

That is one of my very favorite quotes that I use all the time. Thank you for posting!