Spreading ourselves thin

This morning one of my favorite people came to the office to share with me that he finally realized what my vision at Centered City Yoga is. He has been working for me for 3 years or more. He said that for a long time he watched me, watched the stress I experience, watch the busy-ness of my life, and all he could see was that I spread myself very thin. He wondered "for who, for what?" (a free yoga class for anyone who knows who I am quoting!!!) 

I know that other people have noticed the same thing, and I have heard rumors that I am WAY too ambitious. That I am after money and fame and fortune and all the rest of it. Why else would I work so hard at the studio, in the teacher trainings, and as a mother? Why not be happy doing less? 

Well, there's such a thing as urgency in this lifetime. It just feels like we are running out of time; that I myself may be running out of time to follow my heart's desire and my intention all the way to fruition. 

Maybe some of you don't feel it but I BET that most of you are feeling almost a drastic need to CREATE and CONTRIBUTE. To offer something of value to the world (in a world that is indeed so valuable to us!!) It is this urgency to get the word out -- that we are all powerful and we are all connected and we are all LOVE - that looks like ambition to those who would judge my success.

Yes, I just said my success. I admit I have accomplished something. I have created something pretty special, and I just can't pretend that it means nothing to me. However, beyond that "confession," let me clarify a few things:

1) I am not in this for the money. I have a kick ass education and I am not using it at all telling people to inhale and exhale. I am an intelligent woman who could be doing a hundred different jobs making beaucoup bucks. I CHOOSE to run a yoga studio because Yoga means something to me.

2) Yes, I said I'm intelligent. Admit it -- so are YOU!!

3) I get up everyday to do all the things I did yesterday so that my boys know they are loved, so that the people who teach at CCY and make their living there can continue making their living, and so that the people who show up for class find a community when they get there. I keep the doors of CCY open because there is something about that place . . .  something much bigger than ME, that continues to draw me back to it.

4) I do not take my identity from teaching Yoga and therefore see no reason to pretend I am "yogic." I am a MOM who has three boys and a mortgage and a husband and responsibilities up the butt. And I do not even take my identity from all that. I have found whom I know to be ME but she/he/essence is un-nameable. 

5) My motivation when I teach yoga is to get people out of their heads and into their bodies. To tangibly experience the present moment. It is NOT to proselytize or to bring people over to MY personal way of thinking. My desire is to show people how easy it is to experience freedom, breath by breath, not to enslave them. 

6) I do not think like anyone else on this planet and I do not want anyone else to think like me. I just want people to KNOW themselves, their own brilliance, you know?

7) I am spread thin because that is what life is right now for all of us. This is what my friend and co-worker pointed out to me. That it is okay to be pulled in so many directions; it makes me stronger, it is what it is, and really there is no other way to be right now (for a lot of us).  He said my example makes him feel better about spreading himself thin -- he likened it to a diamond, so clear, so translucent, and yet so powerful (and yet a diamond needs stress and pressure to become that way.)

So I hope that clears things up for you as well. I YAM what I Yam. Who are YOU and have you anything to offer of value to this world? If so, get in and start offering it up!! RIGHT NOW!! Or not. You know. It's all up to you.

Peace out.

D'

Comments

[Hala]

This post is so relevant to my life right now, and I am comforted by its resonance and wisdom. Thank you, D'ana. I recently moved to SLC and have already found a place (your studio) to become centered and grounded. Namaste!

[Evan Dillon]

"For who, for what?" ~Ricky Watters

[Maureen Kilgour]

All I know is that if I hadn't shown up for that first class at your house and been so embraced by you I wouldn't be who I am today ... in a good way ... really...

[Dana Baptiste]

Right on Evan Dillon!! YOu win a free yoga class!!! Not many people in SLC know that!!!