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The importance of staying close

I have been offering yoga teacher trainings for 12 years now. In that time, we have had nearly 600 people graduate. Small potatoes, in this big world of yoga, and yet I like it that way. Why? Because I get to know every single person who attends. I get to watch a community being formed, with real and true bonds. I get to witness individuals embrace their unique talents and then  watch them offer these gifts to further enhance and strengthen their sangha. In essence, I get to be a part of a very beautiful family.

And by getting to know each other, I don't mean surface stuff. I mean we all (myself included) get to share our shadow self and find it embraced. We all get to unveil our fears and have them accepted. We all get to see each other as peers and comrades and fellow "yoga soldiers." We all get to open our minds a little more, and LOVE MORE PEOPLE. For real. Genuinely. Authentically.

And then I get to watch all of these amazing people go out into the world and offer their take on what yoga is to them. I would say that every group has bonded and remained "family." I see relationships flourishing years after the training is over. And that is really the reason I love running "InBody Academy." 

Past graduates of this program tend to open up yoga studios, create and run non-profit organizations, incorporate the yoga they learned into their already successful businesses. They also tend to become more of who-they-really-are. I wish I could take credit for how outstanding these individuals become, and all the value they create by stepping towards their own potential, but I can't.

What I can say is that I think the closeness, the small group (I limit each session to 30- 35 people), the time spent together within that group, and the obvious relationships that occur because of that proximity, is more powerful than I first realized. There is something important about the intimacy of bringing strangers together to have them find out they are family. There is something so empowering about realizing you are not alone in the world. 

I am blessed to be able to take part in that process. It is beautiful because people show up for each other when they may have lost the ability to show up for themselves. They not only build each other up, but they also question each other and hold each other accountable. This cannot really happen without a real relationship forming.

What I believe is missing today in our lives is  the opportunity to form new and enlightening relationships. When we have the opportunity to engage in a common goal (with other people who are different and maybe even intimidating or scary), we end up discovering how alike we all are. And isn't that where the yoga (the unity) really begins?

re-blog "Human Frailty"

11/20/2010

Human frailty

So today I decided to take a real day off, and not do any work at all. Then I read a post on Facebook that really hit me. It said:

"I haven't experienced "lies" from people in my life nearly as much as their inability to follow through on promises and stated good intentions. Human frailty is not dishonesty, though the end result is often the same." G.M.

I felt compelled to reply to him:  :  "After reading this I sat and pondered it for a while. I may end up writing a blog to organize my musings. One thing that I have noticed in my own life is that whatever I am most adamant about (i.e. whatever I really take a stance on) seems to come up for review later in my life. I state emphatically something that I "am" and then life proves me wrong; makes of me a liar. I think there is something to the idea that whenever we identify with something we will be shown that indeed we never WERE that. We may possess a certain quality but it ISN'T who we are. I may WANT to act a certain way or do specific things but life itself may have different plans. So how to get around letting people down? I wonder. And thank you for the food for thought this morning."

Of course, that inspired me to get to work on a blog . . . 

I let people down all the time. I know we all do. I let my boys down when I say I will go grocery shopping and then come home empty handed. I let my staff down when I say I will get the schedule ready and then put it off another day. I let my friends down when I say I will go out with them but then by the end of the day all I want to do is curl up in bed with a good book. 

So how do we act impeccably? How do we stop lying; saying one thing and doing another? And believe me the moment you say "well, I never let people down" you will be given the opportunity to eat your words. 

When I use words to describe who I am, like "I am good" for instance, I end up doing something to prove those words wrong. I don't think that makes me a bad person; rather I believe that the universe is once again reminding me that NO you ARE NOT JUST this word "good."  I may have a lot of good energy around me, but that is different than using this word to represent my Self.  I may hold my need to be good in high esteem, hell I may even take some pride in (and thus identify with) the fact that I am good most of the time, but then life conspires to show me that, actually, I am NOT always good and thus can't use this "good" word to define me. Not because I am not worthy of that label but because simply put, that label, ANY label, limits me. 

This still doesn't answer the question I posed above: how do we stop lying? We must use words after all to connect with others and to help others understand who we would like to believe we are. I don't know if I have an answer to that, except to say that the more I realize I cannot be defined and I cannot explain who I am, the easier it is to stop putting those blanket statements out into the ether to be contradicted!!!

Today, I will practice a meditation I haven't done in a while. It is the I AM meditation. It's really simple. Inhale "I am" and exhale "That I am." Repeat it out loud for a few minutes, then silently to yourself for a few minutes, then just with the breath for the rest of the meditation. You will be amazed at how you feel in your body after this exercise. And you will be less inclined to represent who you are with words.

 

Value Creation versus Value Destruction

So, the big news this week for me was Whitney Houston's passing. I have also been following a little story about John Friend's exposure. I have sat on the sidelines and watched as both of these "stories" were commented upon. I have noticed many trends, and want to speak to them in this blog. 

ONE -- I read and heard so many disparaging comments about Whitney Houston being a drug addict and how she basically (of course) was going to end up dead anyway from an overdose. This all was said even without knowing the cause of her death. At the same time, I read and heard so many excuses for John Friend's behavior, exposed on www.yogadork.com. About how he was human, and how we shouldn't cast stones because none of us are without sin . . . blah blah blah. 

My first question then is this -- why is Whitney being villified by many, while John continues to be excused? 

TWO -- I read and heard people wondering why folks were sad that Whitney Houston died. I read many comments stating that "she is just a person, so why should we all mourn her death so much?" Meanwhile, I juxtapose that against all the comments written about how phenomenal John Friend's influence on the world has been, and how many people are mourning his "fall from grace."

My second question then, is: why are we not ashamed to grieve the loss of the LIFE of Whitney Houston and her affect on the entertainment world, but are shamed if we do not grieve the loss of  the INFLUENCE of John Friend and his influence in the yogaworld?

THREE -- While Whitney never set out to use or abuse her power and influence, the media makes her out to be weak; someone who should be dismissed as a loser because she was (for a short part of her too short life), hurting herself with her addictions. John, on the other hand, did knowingly and actively set out to abuse and use his power and influence, and yet his followers circle the wagons around him, claiming he is so strong for coming clean with his transgressions! (He was exposed, remember?)

My third question? Why is Whitney, who offers her fans a pure gift (her voice, her connection to soul, the way her singing made us feel) not considered by many to be someone who created value in this world while she was alive? And why is John, who took advantage of so many other people's gifts not considered by more people to be someone who is destroying value?

These are just my musings . . . what are yours?