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Spreading ourselves thin

This morning one of my favorite people came to the office to share with me that he finally realized what my vision at Centered City Yoga is. He has been working for me for 3 years or more. He said that for a long time he watched me, watched the stress I experience, watch the busy-ness of my life, and all he could see was that I spread myself very thin. He wondered "for who, for what?" (a free yoga class for anyone who knows who I am quoting!!!) 

I know that other people have noticed the same thing, and I have heard rumors that I am WAY too ambitious. That I am after money and fame and fortune and all the rest of it. Why else would I work so hard at the studio, in the teacher trainings, and as a mother? Why not be happy doing less? 

Well, there's such a thing as urgency in this lifetime. It just feels like we are running out of time; that I myself may be running out of time to follow my heart's desire and my intention all the way to fruition. 

Maybe some of you don't feel it but I BET that most of you are feeling almost a drastic need to CREATE and CONTRIBUTE. To offer something of value to the world (in a world that is indeed so valuable to us!!) It is this urgency to get the word out -- that we are all powerful and we are all connected and we are all LOVE - that looks like ambition to those who would judge my success.

Yes, I just said my success. I admit I have accomplished something. I have created something pretty special, and I just can't pretend that it means nothing to me. However, beyond that "confession," let me clarify a few things:

1) I am not in this for the money. I have a kick ass education and I am not using it at all telling people to inhale and exhale. I am an intelligent woman who could be doing a hundred different jobs making beaucoup bucks. I CHOOSE to run a yoga studio because Yoga means something to me.

2) Yes, I said I'm intelligent. Admit it -- so are YOU!!

3) I get up everyday to do all the things I did yesterday so that my boys know they are loved, so that the people who teach at CCY and make their living there can continue making their living, and so that the people who show up for class find a community when they get there. I keep the doors of CCY open because there is something about that place . . .  something much bigger than ME, that continues to draw me back to it.

4) I do not take my identity from teaching Yoga and therefore see no reason to pretend I am "yogic." I am a MOM who has three boys and a mortgage and a husband and responsibilities up the butt. And I do not even take my identity from all that. I have found whom I know to be ME but she/he/essence is un-nameable. 

5) My motivation when I teach yoga is to get people out of their heads and into their bodies. To tangibly experience the present moment. It is NOT to proselytize or to bring people over to MY personal way of thinking. My desire is to show people how easy it is to experience freedom, breath by breath, not to enslave them. 

6) I do not think like anyone else on this planet and I do not want anyone else to think like me. I just want people to KNOW themselves, their own brilliance, you know?

7) I am spread thin because that is what life is right now for all of us. This is what my friend and co-worker pointed out to me. That it is okay to be pulled in so many directions; it makes me stronger, it is what it is, and really there is no other way to be right now (for a lot of us).  He said my example makes him feel better about spreading himself thin -- he likened it to a diamond, so clear, so translucent, and yet so powerful (and yet a diamond needs stress and pressure to become that way.)

So I hope that clears things up for you as well. I YAM what I Yam. Who are YOU and have you anything to offer of value to this world? If so, get in and start offering it up!! RIGHT NOW!! Or not. You know. It's all up to you.

Peace out.

D'

A walking contradiction

When I was growing up, I was the only person in my extended family that didn’t like meat. Now that I teach yoga, I DO eat meat, while surrounded by vegans and raw foodists. (I probably could have saved myself a lot of grief by reversing the order of my food choices.)

While young, I didn’t know I had to label myself a vegetarian. I just didn’t like meat. I had never heard of Gandhi, so couldn’t have claimed that I was following in his footsteps. I just didn’t want to eat meat. I had no idea that it was soon to become a political statement. I just kept not putting meat on my plate. Well, except for bacon . . .

Then, one day, and I have no idea when this happened, I learned I was a vegetarian. I learned I was not a vegan, because I ate ice cream, but that I was definitely a vegetarian. I embraced the label. It was a relief, probably, to learn I belonged somewhere, since growing up I had felt so different from my meat eating family and community. Now I had a group I could align myself with. Except I still ate bacon . . .

Fast forward to El Salvador, at a Yoga retreat with Walt Baptiste, where I fully expected to be greeted as a fellow vegetarian. I mean, all yogis are vegetarian, right? Walt took one look at me and told me to eat some meat to get healthy, and stop using my food choices as my identity. Hmmm. I explained to him that I don’t like meat, but if he had bacon around I would gladly partake, as long as it was burnt. . . .

Well, I’m not sure when I started eating meat, but I did drop the label; It was such an obvious thing to do. I mean, hell, when was I going to be honest with myself and admit that bacon falls into the meat group?

I do know that when I got pregnant I inhaled meat. I craved tuna during my first pregnancy, meat sauce on pasta during my second pregnancy, and sausage from Trader Joe’s during my third pregnancy. I don’t really like meat and don’t eat it much, but when my body wants it, I find the best quality meat and partake of it with gratitude. Here’s the worst part however; I am still an outcast in my new “family” of yogis. Well, maybe not an outcast; let’s just say there are those who think I need to be converted to veganism or raw foodism. I am still a “project.”

For the record, I can’t be converted, I won’t be labeled, and I feel no need to be defined by my food choices. I won’t choose sides or feel guilty. I won’t declare superiority or feel inferiority. I just want to flow, and be allowed to flow, and allow others to flow in whatever direction feels right to them.

I may choose to eat meat one day, then eat rice and beans the next day. I may choose a turkey sandwich on Monday, and a hummus wrap on Tuesday. I may order a hamburger with bacon tomorrow, or may choose to eat a raw salad. I don’t know; I am just going to wait and see what my body needs.

This isn’t a confession, nor is it a defense. This is my attempt to use this small example as a larger metaphor. How many times do we “label” ourselves only to find that now we have to live within the confines of that overly simplistic label? Or, constantly contradict it? 

How often do we define ourselves only to find that there really is no definition that can fully describe us? When will we accept that NOT ONE OF US is here to fit into the confines of any one generalization! We actually aren’t on Earth to fit into a box.

 

fear of spontaneous kindness?

A few days ago I posted a comment on Facebook which said: "I want to live in a world where I  can pull over, offer a ride to a lady walking down the street with heavy grocery bags, and know that she will not think I am out to get her, but will accept the ride. Instead, I rarely act on this spontaneous desire, and the decision to move on haunts me."  Well, this post got quite a lot of attention and response. It seems that many of us feel this pull to reach out and connect, but then we shrink back into our own "safe" place. 

I want to share some of the comments that were added after my post -- and ask for your thoughts on this topic? Why do we all fear being kind to each other? Why is it that when inspired to participate in the life of a fellow human being, we lock our brakes and skid in another direction?

Here are some of the thoughts of friends who responded:  

The balance of transforming the world and allowing others their own path at their own pace is a continous process. I endeavor to be vigilant in honoring both sensitivities. What I do know is that we can change the world and heal the planet and those that live here. We can do this moment by moment. We can do this together. And one day compassion will no longer be perceived as a threat. – J

If we do act on these impulses from the heart, we can change our culture and our world! Prove to people, that people are not so scary -- people are funny! – A

I think thats the same reason why I scare little children. They seem horrified when I stare deeply in to their eyes with a big dorky smile and say "i like you. you're cool." - B

All progress happens through action not inaction. Its the story we write about how someone will act or react that ends up doing the talking for us. At some point, we will do the thing we desire and then react only to their reaction not to our idea of it. - K

It's sad that the world has become a place where people that truly want to make a difference and reach out are afraid of negative response. My attitude is do it anyway. If they have a negative response, okay. But at least when I put myself out there for good, I am making an effort to be an agent of change & progress. - T

Sometimes, it (a spontaneous offer) shifts their perception completely and it makes their day. Sometimes they refuse. But my sense is that upon further reflection they realize it's coming from a pure place and the next time someone tries to help, they are more open to it. Do it anyway Dana. It's who you are. It's who I am. We can't deny who we are because of fear.  I say GO FOR IT! What's the worse that can happen? -- K 

There were many other comments, all were good, but I chose these to show that many of us WANT to reach out and don't, out of fear, even when we all believe that this connection is one very simple way to BE THE CHANGE. 

 I did stop one day, right after a snowstorm, to help an elderly woman clean a driveway. Turns out SHE was out with her snow-blower cleaning her NEIGHBOR'S driveway. As we worked together in clearing her neighbor's driveway, she told me that she was just raised to look out for others and if she saw something that needed doing, she wanted to do it. SHe didn't pity this man, she just wanted to connect in this way, show him that he was remembered, CARE for him, reach out. I drive past that driveway every day from work, and think of her every time I drive by. She made a lasting impression on my life, and I want to be courageous like her.

The next time I feel this spontaneous feeling to reach out, and the spontaneous desire to act on that feeling, I will have the courage to follow through with the actual spontaneous ACT of following through, in that moment. Will you join me?

unique responsibilty

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that moves through you; is translated by you into creation. And because there is only one you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, if you doubt it, if you hide it, it will never exist through any other medium. In other words, you will prevent the world from having it. How selfish. It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to express it freely and beautifully, and to keep the channel of creativity open.” --  Martha Graham (edited a bit by D’ana Baptiste)

This is a shout out --  to remind you how utterly valuable it is (and honestly what a responsibility you have) to embrace your own life, to step into our own unique offering to the world and to COURAGEOUSLY live from that place. Imagine your life as one where you get to show people, through your example, that it is possible for everyone to live sensationally!

Today, take personal responsibility for your genius by allowing yourself at least an hour of creative play time. You know what that looks like for you – make it an hour where you write a poem, or build a sandcastle, or paint a picture, or dance to your favorite tune, or compose a song, or find a new way to swing on the swings. Let your vitality out of its confines today.

Share "you"

I believe we can ALL live in abundance, be beautiful, be powerful, and create a lifestyle that supports our health and well being. I  don’t believe that living this way has to be about self absorption and self aggrandizement; rather, approaching life expecting abundance, beauty, real health and true power is about self actualization.  I believe it is actually our inheritance as co-creating humans.

Yoga techniques start with the metamorphosis of the individual, who will then inspire their community. Yoga teaches individuals how to produce value for themselves, and then how to share those values with the world. In that way we all benefit without sacrificing ourselves to the “greater good.”

Your Yoga practice reveals your creative powers so that you are inspired to offer your unique gifts to humanity. This in turn makes it okay for others around you to come from their place of source to offer their gifts freely to the world.

Yoga will remind you of how intelligent, beautiful, and sensual you are, so that you can then support your circle of influence in also recognizing their beauty, their power, and their creativity.

“The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own.” – Benjamin Disraeli

Today, even if it feels uncomfortable, do something that “shows” (rather than “shows off”) your beauty, your genius, or your power. Do it with the intention of inspiring your circle to feel courageous enough to do the same. And then notice how your perception changes . . .

union

This morning I woke up and thinking, “I can’t wait for the next yoga retreat!” Two months ago at this time, I was driving back from the latest retreat I had offered feeling so much gratitude that this is what I get to do for a living. I was blessed to spend nearly five days with another phenomenal group of people. For those five days, so much irreverent, rebellious, and real “stuff” took place. We worked hard, we dug deep, we stopped judging each other and we allowed each other to simply “be.”  How refreshing, how FUN, and how unusual, and yet somehow, this space of “allowance” happens at every retreat. Because everyone was able to hold the same intention all weekend, we all got to see past our “misperceptions” and appreciate each other. UNION happened.

What I took away from the retreat this time was an even greater sense of joy, realizing that it is easy to stop building walls and start building community. Community happens naturally when we feel true awe (rather than jealousy) while watching a fellow yogi dance, or fire dance, or strut their stuff on a cat walk. It happens when we appreciate (rather than judge) each others’ differences while listening to fellow yogis tell their story with an original rap, a newly composed ballad, or a poem written through tears of joy and read aloud for the first time. It happens when we have the courage to stand in that place of support (rather than competition) while we see our fellow yogis getting stronger, more flexible, and closer to their joy. In that space, UNION HAPPENS.

And even if it IS a challenge in the “not-so-real-at-all” world to remember we are all connected (and there’s absolutely enough for all of us,) it is absolutely WORTH the challenge. When we all rise to that challenge, and truly trust in the real meaning of community, UNION easily happens.

Today, when you notice feelings of jealousy, judgment, or envy, notice where you feel it physically; stay present to what those emotions actually feel like when experienced in your body. Rather than continue thinking about the feelings or spinning the story in your head about why you are justified in feeling this way, just notice how your body feels, and where exactly you feel these emotions in your body. When you locate the feeling, just sit with it quietly, experiencing these sensations on a physical level. Then, watch what happens.

the upside of disillusionment

I have been receiving emails lately from people who have been using  yogic techniques to help them deal with the stress of world events. They've found in their experience of tuning into their own bodies that even though they may feel disheartened with the "leaders" of today, they are discovering their own potential.

We (individuals) actually do have all the potential we need to become our own leader. It is in learning how to trust in this inner TRUE power (and getting other people to do the same) that will eventually tip the scales. I know it sounds silly and ineffective, but until we can experience inner "authority" for ourselves (and INBODY gives us really beautiful tools for first hand experience of that) we will continue to look to outer authority to take care of us and make decisions for us. As long as we blindly trust outer leaders -- who may simply be living off of our toils -- we remain powerless and unhappy.

But, notice that there is this grand grass roots movement going on which has created waves of LIGHT around the globe. It is really thanks to this state of disillusionment that we have HAD to look inside to find illumination again. SO, while our leaders have seemingly let us down, they have actually done the whole of humankind a great favor. In our disillusionment with outer authority, we (you, me, our fellow human beings) have begun evolving into self leaders. We have stepped wholeheartedly into our selves. I take a lot of heart from that.

Today, look for evidence of how you and your circle of influence are evolving, growing, and self-actualizing. Notice how your own mind reaches out for outer guidance, and yet has the ability to reach back INSIDE for inner guidance. Practice today counting how many times you ask for others to make up your mind.

more questions

We all possess an inner rule book that our upbringing tells us will help us move through life with less "friction." I love the rules that support me in doing what my heart bids me to do. However, without questioning the rules I sometimes blindly live by, I allow myself to walk through life running an outdated program that MAY have a lot of bugs and viruses in it.

So, using the yogic practice of dharana, I get to hold my inner rules up to the light for a little interrogation. Do these rules make sense any longer? Did they ever make sense? For instance, what does "mind your manners" actually mean? What does "be a good girl" mean? Could I rephrase it in a more articulate way, a more tangible way, or a more conscious way? In a manner that would really resonate with me, and with all the different aspects (mother, wife, business person, yoga teacher, etc.) of myself?

I believe that yes, by paying attention, I can (we all can) refine our inner set of rules. It comes down to a simple practice of holding concepts up to our own curiosity.

Take the phrase "pay attention." Let's hold those two words up to the light for just a moment. Where have we heard that before? We've all heard it as a child a few thousand times. So hearing the words "pay attention" may simply hearken us back to our childhood. Hearing the reminder from another person to "pay attention" may actually sound like "pay attention to ME." Did we ever ask to whom we should pay attention? Were we ever given permission to pay attention to our own beauty, our own intelligence, and our own heart? And did we ever learn skills in how to actually PAY attention?

To refine what it means to "pay attention," notice your perceptions in each moment. That's right -- not necessarily to change them or throw them out, but just to weigh them against your intuition. By noticing that some perceptions don't feel accurate when brought to our intuition for review, we make tiny yet important shifts in the way we view the world and in the way we live as part of that world. In the process, it may become painfully clear that whole segments from our inner rule books are outdated, or worse, written by someone besides our Selves.

Maybe the rules we are unconsciously living by made sense at one time (like "don't wander off") but these rules no longer serve any purpose. Some rules may never have made sense to us (like "don't talk to any strangers") but we were not allowed to ask for clarification. And a lot in our rule book may still makes sense (like "lead a congruent life; walk your talk") after being weighed against our intuition, which we can then embrace fully and consciously.

Today, look for ways to demystify your world by questioning your own thoughts as you think them, giving yourself the permission to dismiss them if they no longer make sense to you.

Ask more questions

I've been teaching embodying techniques for 19 years now, and during that time span I have experienced the highs and lows of the ancient discipline of yoga. I have seen the dangers of gurus, spiritual leaders and mysticism. On the other hand, I have personally experienced the joy and peace of self realization, self leadership, and self awareness.

I have also "tried on" the identity of the all knowing, all seeing mystic, but found this to be dishonest, out of integrity, and incongruent with my natural self. However; thanks to the tangible and simple tools I have learned from practicing yoga, that "false identity" was easily shed, which brought me even closer to my essence.

I have been able to use all of the GIFTS and DISCOVERIES of this practice without getting caught up in the altruism, dogma, or stigma surrounding yoga. Because I have (luckily) not been duped into believing that someone or something outside of myself has better answers than I myself do, I am able to (at any time) check in with my intelligent body and get very clear, very quickly. Yoga has given me (and countless others) proven tools of "self actualization" which support my primary desire to realize my potential, offer my personal gifts to others, and expect joy, beauty and abundance in my life. All of this without the need for "followers" and without forcing any "mumbo jumbo" on anyone.

Today, I define YOGA (and the yogic techniques I employ within this system) as the science of embodying essence, embracing objectivity, and exercising presence of mind. All this to ultimately experience being of value to your family, your community, and the world.

Today, look for ways to demystify your world my questioning your leaders, even if you really like them. If they are real leaders, they will stand up to your inquiring mind. Also, notice any fear that comes up from the mere idea of questioning authority.